How would you feel if you recieved this?

Wow, I think that is a great poem. The only input I can give though is make it more lively and original in the beginning because the 'full and red' lips part seems like you could see that in any poem. The 2ND HALF is my favorite starting with ' but you can be happy with others anywhere.' try to put something like what you could offer her in being with you instead of someone else. The last line really struck me, if I read that, it would really make me look at you and want to notice you. :) hope that helped